Just look at the problems we face: Left-handed violinists, guitarists, banjoists, etc., must restring their instruments. Left-handed saxophonists simply don't exist. Gum wrapper openers are right-handed. And so are apple corers. Scissors are right-handed. Can openers are right-handed. And so are wrist watches. Some semi-automatics can scoop out your eyeball if fired left-handed. Tools can be a real menace for left-handers. Frying pans are a real nuisance since the pouring lip is always on the wrong side.
***************************A Lefthanded Manifesto!*********************************
Be it resolved that all LEFT-THINKING citizens, mindful that their BIRTHLEFT has been denied them,...shall henceforth stand up for their LEFTS! We call upon each one of them to support this BILL OF LEFTS, and specifically to... BUY LEFT! PATRONIZE LEFT! ACT LEFT! EAT LEFT! RELAX LEFT! WRITE LEFT! INSIST ON LEFT-HANDED CHECK BOOKS! ONLY BUY AN ENGLISH CAR AND GET A LEFT-HANDED GEARSHIFT FREE!
AMEN
"Peace" OuT and to the LEFT
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