American Embassy

Top 10 Misunderstandings

1) It is a welcoming place

2) No one is paranoid

3) The structures blends in

4) Everyone is friendly, once you pass the steel spikes, bullet proof gates, and pay no attention to the military bullies with mashine guns

5) You feel safe

6) The mirror in the entrance way is really for primping before your appointment with your Ambassador, and not a one way (Is it 2 way? lo0oL) mirror

7) The U.S. Ambassador is accessible to all people without regard to race, creed, color, religion, or nationality

8) The CIA has never heard of Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman of Jersey City, and has no idea where Khartoum is located

9) Your Ambassodor is the only true friend you have in a foreign country

10) In order to get a visa extension in Khartoum you need your ambassador's signature attesting to the fact that you are not a wanted criminal and that you will not jeopardize sombody's "national interest." Instead of a signature, you're searched, magnetized, and interrogated; this is especially true if you were born in a foreign country and are now a naturalized citizen. Guilty until proven innocent! Your "friends," become androids...Stepford Wives.

Embassy Official: "Why are you here?"
Me: "I need the ambassador's signature"
EO: "I mean why are you here in this country, in Khartoum?"
Me: "I have friends"
EO: "Friends? Here? Who?"

Pause...how does one conduct border formalities at the Algerian border? With cadeaux of course. And at the US embassy? With fawning courtesy.

Interview/interrogation...
EO: "When did you first enter the United States?"
Me: "I don't remember the exact date"
EO: "What year did you become a naturalized US citizen?"
Me: "I'm not sure"
EO: "What does the 4th of July stand for?"
Me: "HU? You get the day off work?"
EO: "You have worked in the United States all these years and you do not know the significance of July 4th?"
Look guilty
EO: "You just came from Niger?"
Me: "No! Algeria"
EO: "Visiting friends?"
Me: "Mmm"
EO: "Come back tomorrow"
Me: "My visa is up in a few days. I need the ambassador's signature. Please?"

Don't try to kick a mean cow. If this is reported your embassy can sent you back to Algeria...or Niger or wherever. Sent back to a country for which you have no visa, and hence, into the no-man's land between the two countries where you will surely die in the desert among the derelict autos and broken-down military huts half buried in the sand.

Letter from friends & Ho, Ghana

To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: sudanesefriends@hotmail.com
Subject: all the best

Hello Christy,

I am about to lose my Internet connection and go underground for a week.
LOOOL
Just wanted to say that I hope you're having fun in Ghana! :-) Thanks for
dropping by the board.
I wish you all the best and congratulations to your cousin and his
wife-to-be. May their marriage work out fine. :-)

peace and love,
Rastko
(-:

To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: rastko@home.com
Subject: for Christiania :)

Hello Christy,
I hope I may talk to you too. LOOL Yes, I am asking for permission (please
don't laugh or be bitter). I'm sorry I got you so mad before.

Anyway, it has been sooooo long since the last time we really talked to each
other. :-) I miss you a lot, my friend.
Well, we're moving today (during the day that is - now it's 2:30am), so I
won't have access to the Internet for about a week. My parents bought a
house; it is still on the same street as our old appartment. I really like
it: on the ground floor there's a room that is set up like a typical German
bar. You're invited for the house-warming party... we'll be serving
alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. LOOOOOL Thango and Wijdan are already
coming. now I just need to catch Lebas Mafi and Osama. :-) We finally have
an extra room for guests when we have anyone visiting over. On top of that,
we'll dedicate a whole room as a library... not that I believe we won't have
books and loose papers flying all over the place in any case. LOOOL
Incidentally, today is my sister's birthday! :) Which reminds me to wish you
a happy birthday too. :-) 38th, right? Well, that'll be a lot of candles to
blow out. lool

Did you see that I finally wrote a few poems?I hope you
enjoyed them like I enjoyed yours. I really loved the one with
"Perhaps I might be stretching it
to think that in my mind you fit"
Those two lines hold some sort of magic in them. lol And they really are
sooo true, aren't they?
My latest one I posted under "Me.", titled "the ever-lasting night". What do
you think of it? I was tired when I wrote it, and now realize that I got my
tenses mixed up near the end. I like it that way though... it makes the
point. LOL

Oh, what else is new? Oh, yes, my grandparents left last weekend. They
arrived in Belgrade safely. Thank God.... and let's hope there will be no
more bombings. I got a love letter from the Yugoslav Army. They're starting
to take interest in me. LOOOOL It'll be okay though, I'll get the papers via
some friends of the family.. in them they'll make it clear what exactly they
want. It shouldn't be too hard to work it out so that I don't need to do the
mandatory 2 years... but, I cannot go to my homecountry for a while now. For
safety reasons, of course.

Now, sweetie, please do not get mad at me. I come in peace, as the typical
Martian on TV would say. :-) If you want to talk it please, I am all for that. I want to clear this up once and for all. :-) I mean, you know my intentions are
sincere. I hate constantly fighting with a sweet friend like you.

a lot of love,
lil bro Rastko


To: rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com
Please GET LOST

Krista

To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: sd4@ukc.ac.uk
Subject: Re: ana

lady!!!
so you got there fine. good. how's your cold??
Anyway, I am supposed to be at a conference and cant travel, have to do an
essay that is late.
I'll write to you agaon later.
hope you catch this before you log off to get your brain round! loll
love,
samah


To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: abuljazz@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: christiania

Hello there dear Chrissy, and please forgive me for not replying sooner, I
took about a week off it all, no internet, no board and no anything, I just
bummed around, slept like a crocodile, btw it is a myth in Sudan that
crocodiles sleep all the time, sometimes with their eyes open, pple take
that as a sign of "canniness", and you must agree that one needs all the
shrewdness one can muster these days, no?

so how is Ghana, Ho?, and how has it been so far, other than the heat and
lizards and what not, how did you find the people?, I've met many Ghanians
here, and they were very nice, not like the Nigerians, if I can say
that..but you of course have a first hand knowledge now..

The board of course is as crappy as ever, but I bet you are not the least
interested in that, what I meant to say is that, I am still looking for your
return and that of many of the old pioneers to feel at home again.

On a personal level, things are as stagnant as ever, even the weather became
rather redundant, you can foretell how it is going to be for weeks in
advance...hmmmmm it must be a sign of the new economy ;-)
Hey I better fire this before someone distracts me again. Take care dear and
keep in touch, I've forwarded your posting to the many friends who kept
asking abut you, I hope you don't mind :-)


To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: sallyyahoo@netscape.net
Subject: Hello Christy From uk!.

Hello Christy,

It is good to hear from and to know that you are fine. I miss you. My work is keeping me too busy and stressed these days.
The board is missing you very much and I hope you will be back soon.
Take care and enjoy the heat!!.
Love Sally, A friend and Amina



To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: abuljazz@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: silkworm and all that jazz

Hello there dear Chrissy,
how are things, I guess I once more under estimated your resolve, but I
should have known better than telling you that the silkworm is not there, I
think after putting all these tracers after that farm, someone is gonna find
it, loool, now it better be a worthy visit after all, I never even thought
that silk is produced in Ghana, but given the rich tradition of fabric
production and all, that shouldn't be a far-fetched idea..I am forwarding to
you a message that "Ana" wrote me, and I am still waiting for the thing you
wanted me to post.

------------------
AJ,

hey how are you doing?

i'm away from home, and forgot to email Christy back, she'll go mad.
so AJ, if you get this soon, could you please write to her at that address
in Ghana and give her hannoya@yahoo.com and osama@cwcom.net and let her know
Osama is out of the country and don't know if he gets his email.
And about the silkworm farm in Ghana, I couldn't find anything on the net
unfortunately. and that there is some band by that name, so searches don't
return any proper results.

and as for you, when i get back to campus!thanks in advance. :-)
Samah
see you soon, take care of that lizard, well at least it is easier to cater
for than a horse, no??, lol, and keep in touch :-)

To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: hannoya@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: the bird batwoman

AHAHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Is it really YOUUU?

How IS IT OVER THERE?




CAN - YOU - HEAR - ME??


LOL

luv and miss ya sis
hana


To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: sd4@ukc.ac.uk
Subject: Re: to ana

Christy,

hey lady, how are you doing???
i couldnt reply to you soon, and when i got a chance to go online (i'm off
campus, went home to see my brother etc) i couldnt access this account and
didnt have yr address, so I emailed abuljazz and asked him to write to you
and tell you.
I couldnt find any info on the silkworm farm. theres some music band called
silkworm so everything that the searches returned were relevant to that
band. there was stuff on silkworms in china but not ghana.
So, what is happening with you? Is there a phone number to call you on?
love,
Ana
samah

Date: Sat, 08 Apr 2000 15:23:12 PDT
To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh, wijdan4@hotmail.com, vitra@gurlmail.com, tim@milanmania.com, satserv@connected.net.nz, sd4@ukc.ac.uk, ssidham@smartchat.net.au, pedjapop@ptt.yu, osama@cwcom.net,
Author: rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com
Subject: IMPORTANT

Hello everyone (I hope I didn't forget anyone),

due to circumstances beyond my control, my rastko@home.com e-mail account is
NOT working. If you tried sending any e-mail to me during the past 2 weeks,
you probably received a message saying that my account does not exist.
Please re-send any e-mails you sent to my @home account after Friday, the
24th of March 2000, to my temporary address, rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com .
Untill further notification, please use my hotmail account for
communication.

Sorry for the confusion this has caused. I am trying to get my old account
back.

with regards,
Rastko Cvekic

rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com


To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com
Subject: for Christiania

Hello ma cherie,
:-)

Christy, are you Hiba? Am I RA? Were those messages on the board from you
for me? loool I'm sorry, I'm totally out of it right now!

If yes..... Oh, thank you soooo much! I'm very appreciative of all the
caring feelings you have for me. You are the love of my life, and always
will be. :-) I LOVE YOU!
I'm really sorry things got the way they did. You have said in your post
everything I wanted to say too. Thanks, sweetheart. :)

I am sorry sweetie, but your e-mails have never reached me and never will.
My rastko@home.com account is down and isn't working. If it was something
important (I think that our friendship/love is very important), please
re-send it to rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com

kisses,
Rastko
:)(:


To: rastko_cvekic@hotmail.com
Rastko...what part of "leave ME ALONE don't you understand?"
krista
aka Loi Lane


To: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Author: osama@cwcom.net
Subject: Re: whats happening Osama?

Hi Lois!

Honestly I've emailed you about four times but it keeps getting rejected.
From here, from Rio and again after I got back. I hope this one goes
through, or I'm in more trouble.

And I don't like leaving 'personal' messages for people on the board, with
all those vultures around! LOOOOL

Yep, I went back to Rio to get some peace and quiet and work on my book.
Well I made some progress in spite of all the ...er... distractions :-)

And I got your post card! Thanks so much. Other than that, life is getting
back to normal. I even made friends with Wijdan and we are emailing each
other! Isn't that shocking? I decided life is stress filled enough already,
and we really didn't have any differences apart from those she imagined! So
anyway, that's one less battle I have to fight? I wonder, does that make me
a coward? LOL.

So how is it going? Do you miss toilet paper, hairdryers and cable TV yet?
LOOOOOOL

Yeah I saw your post to Rastko. I have been ignoring his emails in the hope
he will go away, but.....

In your absence he has also latched on to Wijdan. I don't know if he is
bugging her too, but I bet he is. I almost feel sorry for her :-) Still, I
can image what you had to go through to finally snap and put that post for
him. I hope that's the end of your troubles :-)

Take care and see you soon,
Osama



To: abuljazz
Author: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Subject: jazz...where the hell are you?

dear abuljazz

so....here i sit in Ho, Ghana. and how come i haven't heard from you?
i left a message for you on the board but you did not get this address? I really want to hear from you. so, this is my address. If i don't hear from you....looooool i may never speak to you again!
did you read the message on the board?


LUV
ch
an you don't stop
an she wont stop
an I CAN'T THINK IN THIS FRIECKEN HEAT. SO IF YOU EXPECT SOME GREAT WORDS OF WISDOM .....I SAY FRIECKEN FORGET IT....CAUSE THIS FRIECKEN HEAT'S DONE ME FRIECKEN IN. BUT...I EXPECT SOME FRIECKEN WORDS OF SOMETHING MEANINGFUL FROM YOU
TILL FRIECKEN LATER

LUV
CH

To: sudanesefriends@hotmail.com
Author: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Subject: from christiania-batwoman-etc.

dear friends...rastko...can u just friecken remember that im friecken over here in some friecken other friecken country that most people in the world have never friecken heard off so dont make me come over there and slap the friecken crap out of you.please...my e mail is for all...it is not your personal property. remember that.
ok...now that thats all said...hello friends. im in ghana ho. its hot here. i love it very much. of course, unite us...everybody is very black and you will be happy to know that everbody thinks im funny looking and u know why. loooooooooooooooooool
what i dont like here is that the missionairies have been here. thats one thing i like about the middle east. ok...some christian missionairies have been there but not like in west africa. ok...what do i know. its to hot for me to think. no no no you do know what hot is...its not like in sudan...this more like going to the ladies hair dresser and sitting under the hair dryer. but...your walking around with it all the time. the friecken hair dryer is with you no matter where u go...u can not turn the thing off. u have to even sleep with that friecken hair dryer. its every where. so...that the news from ho ghana. not very educational. no not at all. what do you expect from somebody with a friecken hair dryer over their head? HU?

love
christiania

To: sd4@ukc.ac.uk
Author: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Subject: to ana

HI ANA:

OH SHIT! U DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I WAS TO GET YOUR E MAIL. I HAVE TO GO A WAYS FOR IT. FIRST...I HAVE TO GET UP OUT OF BED. |loO0O0O0O0O0
THEN I HAVE TO GET DRESSED. THEN I HAVE TO PUT ON MY CLOTHES. THEN THE DIFFICULT JOB STARTS. i HAVE TO WALK A LONG WAYS TO THIS FRIECKEN OFFICE. SO YOU CAN IMAGEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET THERE AFTER ALL THAT WORK OO0OLLO0O0O0O0OL AND FIND NO FRIECKEN E
MAIL THERE. WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL THAT FRIECKEN LAZY OSAMA TO FRIECKEN SEND ME A FRIECKEN E MAIL? i LEFT SOME MESSAGES ON THE BOARD AND I TRIED TO CLICK ONTO HIS E MAIL...BUT I CANT FROM HERE. IMPOSSIBLE.
OR JUST GIVE ME HIS FRICKEN E MAIL ADDRESS AND HANA ALSO.

HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH U. STUDY STUDY STUDY

I GAVE A SPEACH TO THE CLASS YESTERDAY..........KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

luv
CH


To: knimagai@yahoo.de
Author: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Subject: from christiania

Dear Lebas Mafi:

I found this African Proverb which reminded me of you

"The Underwear of truth is worn while running."

Moral teaching:
Justice should not be duly delayed but should be done promptly


Christiania in Ho Ghana
von den unterhosenclub

LUV
ch


To: knimagai@yahoo.de
Author: gahorlu@nexus.africaonline.com.gh
Subject: RE: Re: from christiania

derarest lebas mafi:

i am about to enter the world of voodoo, witchcraft, medicinemen, and juju for 4 days. if i survive lo0o0o0o0ol the ordeal...you may hear from me further. lo0o0o0ol ;)the biggest problem of course will be that I must BOW to the voodoo master if i want any further communication with the voodoo master...the bowing is a must. But...I'm not good at bowing...I don't BOW easily...so, I'm thinking of asking for a raise in salery before I have to submit to this dirty deed of bowing down on ma knees!

Listen up doctor Lebas from Deutschland...my brain is fried...bitte gebe mir medicine? LOOOOOOOooooooooooooL

luv
i am christiana

So burn me at the stake if it may help

The matra in my community: common ground, fitting in, same goals, one vision.
"We all want to fit in. It is is part of our obvious need to be loved” my
friend says matter-of-factly without paying heed to what it could all mean.
At the community art exhibition I smile and congratulate artists who really
should stop painting and I congratulate myself on surviving all the hypocrisy.
I am yet to discover what was so moving about dull paintings of still sunflower fields.

Why O why the Conflicts in the Community?
There no escaping the fact. The middle class/system unconscious snobbery is a big part of Takilma conflicts. Multiple stories pour their way inside my heart while I, with the distinct feeling that leaving is not the worst that can happen to any one, just take them in and breathe. But I become polluted like a lovely cloud passing over Cairo and instead of carrying water, it now carries soot. The best description is probably a walking volcano, that can erupt anytime and anywhere! But I don't want to ignore the fact that unfortunately I belong to the species of The Naturally Pissed Off!

I am who I am. So if I have to be burnt at the stake, I will make sure to have a grand exit. There is no grace in silence. There is no virtue in denying pain. I like to think it takes a lot to murder my spirit. But just in case...I'll make sure it looks like a lot.

The Return Of The Randomly Speaking

I love traveling because I can tell my stories the way I remember. The way I want. I add to it, revise it, invent parts I forgot or never knew. No one but me carries it all and no one will unless I tell someone who might understand...like Jilanta. I came to live with her in Gdansk, Poland. I brought nothing with me. No pictures of friends, dead pets, old boyfriends, parents, nephews, siblings, children, or places I grew up. I brought nothing to recall my former life.

Sometimes at night I lie awake and try to remember a certain person's features. There was a man I loved. Not the Brazilian who told me he would kill me if I ever left him. Under the law of the land killing your female lover or wife is considered a "crime of passion" and carries no penalty. No big deal in Brazil. The man I loved was another. And I try to piece him together like a jigsaw, but I can't find his substance. I try the same with my family, but alas, I feel orphaned.

So here I am with Jilanta in Gdansk. Far away from Brazil. A place, I hope, no Brazilian can find on the map. Jilanta makes up stories for me. Her mother grows more beautiful. Her father wealthier. Her grandmum crueler by the day. Communism is gone. Real democracy is is at her back door. Higher education is no longer for the elite. Her children are now able to be whatever they want to be. I in turn invent for her incredible loves I have known, a happy childhood, a brilliant career.



P.S. Jilanta taught me a lot of things...what to look for to find out if a curse had been placed on my head. My fruit would be full of worms. I wouldn't be able to light a fire. Plants would wither at my touch. She also taught me how to place a curse...so watch out!

Media cartels are stealing writers works;-( www.newslibrary.com

Media cartels are unilaterally seizing and abrogating to themselves writers works! And writers are out of work and you'll be reading shopping-mall news! That's it! I wrote this in 2002 and my goodness I was right!

Example:
U write an article. U sell 1 time rights to publish to the N.Y.T., After publication, the rights and your work is returned to U. A living can be made only if you can re-spin (re-sell) the article/s to other publications. This is how it's always been. It's changing big time and quick!

Gone:
Now...before the article ever get back to you...you find they have been sold to Nexis who sold them to Northern Light, who now sold them to www.newslibrary.com and so on...without any further compensation to the creator(U)of the works. Locating your work is only half the battle...the other half is getting it back from the cartels.

Finding their work is half the Battle:
Writers can only locate their work by name and title. The outlook for writers is bleak. Their chances of ending up like Little Richard is great!

The Big Time Players: Economic coup d'etat:
Today, the people who dictate writers and all of us... economic lives lead a neoteric industry melding the once -seperate corporate powers of publishing, cable, telephone, computing, consumer electronics, broadcast and entertainment. It's more than a vast monopoly. Journalist Aulatte, termed this combination a global version of Japanese "keiretsu." A web of companies investing in each other, do business with each other and divide up the world to the exclusion of all others. Like You and Me.

The New Bosses:
These new media barons don't give a damn about the quaint craft of writing. Writers are content providers and they want control of the content from creation to sale, from today to eternity. Those barons own the pipelines that carry the content, all broadcast and communication networks and "You can compare the confusion surrounding electronic superhighway bandwagon to the days of the CA gold rush." It's chaos. The rules are being applied as the "thing" moves along...Operating within this chaos are the monopoly building newspaper bosses.

Boot Camp:
Denver Post owner Dave Singelton, recently (meaning around 2002) bought 139 newspapers in 6 regions. This is what he calls, "corporate strategy of content development and poll readers...then give them what they want! The newsroom, as well as business office, play a part in empire building. Invest heavy in marketing."

Singelton's MO is similar to Gannett's "News 2002" program, which sends reporters to shopping malls to ask shoppers what they want to read. Knight-Ridder's version has reporters role-playing affluent readers and imagining their needs, all in line with the company slogan, "The customer is our obsession!"

As long as writers still own their content...you still have a chance of reading news instead of what Mr. Singelton is advocating. Shopping Mall News.

I use to write articles, send them to a newspaper with a note giving them one time rights to publish my brain storm. I either received a reject note w/ my article/s or a check in the mail. w/ a copy of the published work/s. Fenito! Believe u me...I got more rejects than checks. One day I'm going to post the hundreds of rejects from editors.

When the contracts started to arrived I stopped writing. I will post them at a later date. They are worth reading. Right now I'm so pissed off. I found 2 of my articles and they are being sold at newslibrary.com

even though I had an agreement with the editor in writing """Krista: you must sign an unaltered contract." (I crossed some of the paragraphs out of the original contract in hopes it would be overlooked) I will NOT resell your story or art---or keep them for that matter. They have been purged from our system. Please sign the new contract---or if you must---call me 1-800-688-4802 ext. 9560"""

The Plain Dealer Travel Editor David G. Molyneaux

To: David G. Molyneaux...

Now what’s the heck is going on? I saw a carnival of cut-and-paste articles sold at www.newslibrary.com without any compensation to the author/s! Davy...That can’t be right!…
And, who’s that? Are you the guy with a bucket of glue and 234 scissors…then 345 staplers and lots of articles? Ohhhh busted!!!!!!!!! ;-( Please cut-and-paste responsibly before you sell your soul! Don’t drink and cut-and-paste, because chances are you’ll forget your little notes of promise "I will NOT sell your story or your art." Please cut-and-paste in moderation. Cut-and-paste is proven to cause heart problems, regardless of your age, gender, race, or natural origin. And finally Davy...YOU will go to Hell if you don’t set things right between you and me and all the authors you so royally fucked over.

Absolutely Krista

Plagiarists Nightmare
Copyrights Highway Patrol
Founder of WITA Who-Is-The-Author? And WATA Criminal Justice System

P.S. David... try to muster what little pep you can stir up in your sorry self and explain!

Are U thinking what I think your thinking? Lo0o0ol U know what I think your thinking?

Left handed Cont:

Actually Neanderthals were the most flexible. They invented ambidextrous tools suitable for either hand; cups, flutes, bow&arrows, axes, pails.......

But the Bible is the real meany here. The Bible is militantly right-handed and takes every opportunity to equate left-handedness with evil.

And the Romans. They invented the right-handed handshake and the fascist salute!!!

In my not so humble opinion I think LEFT HANDED PEOPLE are GENIUS;-)

Just look at the problems we face: Left-handed violinists, guitarists, banjoists, etc., must restring their instruments. Left-handed saxophonists simply don't exist. Gum wrapper openers are right-handed. And so are apple corers. Scissors are right-handed. Can openers are right-handed. And so are wrist watches. Some semi-automatics can scoop out your eyeball if fired left-handed. Tools can be a real menace for left-handers. Frying pans are a real nuisance since the pouring lip is always on the wrong side.

***************************A Lefthanded Manifesto!*********************************
Be it resolved that all LEFT-THINKING citizens, mindful that their BIRTHLEFT has been denied them,...shall henceforth stand up for their LEFTS! We call upon each one of them to support this BILL OF LEFTS, and specifically to... BUY LEFT! PATRONIZE LEFT! ACT LEFT! EAT LEFT! RELAX LEFT! WRITE LEFT! INSIST ON LEFT-HANDED CHECK BOOKS! ONLY BUY AN ENGLISH CAR AND GET A LEFT-HANDED GEARSHIFT FREE!

AMEN

"Peace" OuT and to the LEFT